Do you sometimes feel that today is one of these days when I don’t want to do anything? Or you question yourself that, are you even doing the right thing in your life? Will things work out for you as you wish? Are you feeling low sometimes? Well, I do.
When I do, I often get the second feeling that this is unacceptable. To be successful (which is always in my mind), I should be doing so many things. When I procrastinate, I feel bad about it. I feel lazy, and this way, I won’t get anywhere. This is my negative self-talk. But then again, I have to remind myself that this is entirely ok – to feel low.
We are human beings, which is not normal to constantly be in an expanded state. An expanded state is when we are open to new ideas, ready to conquer, have lots of communication with people, and execute and put massive action into our goals. No one is like that 100% of the time. We all have our low days.
I think it’s in our society with all the social media. We all want to show our friends and family that we are doing well, that we are always on the right track and have perfect relationships, and that we are successful in the things we do. If you think about it, you see only positive things from your friends and family. They are finishing school, having success in work, finishing projects, closing a big deal, buying a new car, or having a perfect family vacation. And then it comes as a surprise when you talk with your friends, and they complain about things in their lives, although their life looks so perfect on social media. It’s because no one is posting about low times in their lives. Everyone wants to be perfect, but is it ideal for us? I don’t think so.
Why is it fair to be feeling low?
Feeling low is a contraction state. It’s a state when you would like to be alone, and you don’t “feel like it,” you might have pain, or you are angry at something, etc. It’s the complete opposite for the expansion state.
The good thing about the contraction state is that when we learn something, we can be with ourselves for the moment. It is usually an opportunity to revaluate my priorities and get back to the essential things. Sometimes in a contraction state, I can calculate the most important things for me and make decisions in favor of my passions, for example. It’s like a restart for me.
There was a time when I didn’t know about it, and I bushed myself to be in the expanded state all the time. But my organism let me know that it is not normal to “keep going” all the time, and the way my organism did, it was by getting sick. Believe me, if I say, my sicknesses weren’t easy. My partner always asked, are you sure you’re going to survive? With illness, my body said it is crucial to take time off and reevaluate my priorities. These days I’m much wiser. I have learned to listen to myself, recognize when I’m in the contraction state, and take some time off.
How to deal with the contraction state?
Whenever you are feeling low (you are in a contraction state), there is a formula that helps you deal with it:
- Notice
It’s good to recognize that you are in this state right now and need some time for yourself to deal with it. Sometimes it takes longer (for days), sometimes less.
2. Breathe
Just breathe in, try to be calm, and listen to yourself.
3. Ask to be open
Ask yourself to be open to an expanded state again and listen to what your inner-self tells you.
4. Go into the feeling
Well, that says it all. What is the feeling you are feeling?
5. Feel the body
If you have pain somewhere, go into it and try to understand it. Feel the pain and let it go.
6. Use the tools
Several kinds of tools help you relax and be with yourself in that state. Using the tools helps feel better and get back to the expansion state sooner again. The tools are different for each individual. For me, writing, drawing, daydreaming, running, or walking in nature helps. Being by the sea, meditating, journaling, etc., helps as well. It is a time when I need to be by myself.
7. Communicate clearly
For others to understand you, try to stay calm, be loving, and explain that you were in the contraction state and needed some time to be with yourself. Maybe you had a misunderstanding with your partner, and it got out of control. Explain to your partner that you were in a contraction state, and that’s why you reacted this way. Try to develop the solution or lovingly talk about how that made you feel.